How to Protect Your Child From Porn

Let’s get real, moms and dads. Most of us either ignore the overwhelming statistics or have accepted the societal belief that there’s nothing we can really do about it.

But these data make it clear that we can't afford to turn a blind eye any longer:

In 2023, Pornhub averaged over 100 million visits each day—let that sink in, every single day! In just one month, Pornhub alone received 2.14 billion visits—surpassing the combined traffic of Netflix, TikTok, Pinterest, and Instagram. In 2013, pornographic websites attracted an estimated 68 million visits per day, which means there has been an increase of 32 million visits over the past decade. Those statistics are indeed devastating. Despite the common belief that pornography is a victimless activity, the reality is much darker. Porn fuels trafficking, and in many cases, the production of porn itself involves exploitation and abuse. It creates a demand that perpetuates a cycle of victimization, impacting vulnerable individuals and communities.

These statistics are alarming and have the power to fill us with fear for our children, who are increasingly being targeted. If they can reach them at a young age, they will have an audience for years to come.

There is an ongoing debate about whether pornography is addictive - some studies say it is, others say it isn't. I won't get into that debate now, as I have my views on it, but you may know people who have found it addictive and are struggling to break free.

Beyond the potential for addiction, pornography often sexualizes violence against women. Its impact on relationships is largely negative, and the abuse and exploitation of the women involved is deeply disturbing. Even in mainstream pornography, there's a disturbing prevalence of violent acts against women.

As parents, we must resist the urge to feel paralyzed when it comes to protecting our children from the dangers they face today. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the enormity of the issues surrounding us, but we shouldn’t buy into the lie that this problem is too big for us to tackle.

Our mandate as parents is clear: we need to protect and inform our children. Ignoring these challenges or pushing them aside in the hope that our kids won’t have to deal with them only puts them at greater risk. Instead, let’s take a proactive approach—engaging in open conversations, setting boundaries, and providing the guidance they need to navigate these complex issues. By doing so, we empower our children to make informed choices and stand strong against the pressures they encounter.

How can we communicate the beauty of sex, designed by our Creator Himself, while also addressing the dangers of sexual perversion that are so prevalent in today’s society? This can be a daunting task for us - one that we often don't discuss because, like the statistics, we don't like it. But they will not disappear if you ignore them. Let's be intentional about protecting our children, because for many young people, pornography is their introduction to sex.

Fifteen percent of teens reported that they first saw online pornography at age 10 or younger. The average age of first exposure is 12, but many children as young as six have been introduced to pornography. Typically, this exposure is not intentional; rather, it occurs by accident. Examples include a child searching for videos on YouTube or a group of friends browsing the internet after school. It starts innocently. Those images can be hard to erase once they’re lodged in our brains.

We’re all about encouragement, not fear. So, how can we protect our children in this challenging world? Because when it comes to their safety, that's something we just can’t compromise on.

Protect through praying

Never underestimate the incredible power of prayer. Make it a priority to pray intentionally and consistently for your child's innocence and discernment, especially when it comes to the friends they choose and the environments they engage with. Prayer isn’t just a nice routine; it’s one of the most powerful weapons God has given us.

I love how The Message translation puts it in Ephesians 6:18:

"Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting, you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."

Isn’t that powerful? Let’s make prayer our first response, never our last resort. Let the Holy Spirit lead you in your prayer time, for He knows what is going on in your children's lives.

Protect them at Home

Children don’t need to be working on computers in their rooms, and in fact, it’s better if they don’t have one in there at all. Let’s encourage them to learn that whenever they do start needing a computer (which is often later than you might think), they should use it in a common area. Consider setting up a designated workspace for them in the living room or your office. Since porn is typically consumed at home, often in private, or late at night establishing boundaries is crucial.

Also, try to avoid giving your children a smartphone too early, or letting them use yours in their rooms. When the time comes to introduce them to devices, make sure it’s done with care and intention. For more guidance on this, check out our blog post Digital Parenting: Facing Today's Challenges. It covers practical tips for navigating the digital world with your kids—don’t miss it!

Some families implement a nightly curfew where devices are turned in for the night to limit access or the internet is turned off. 

It's essential to have proactive, age-appropriate conversations about pornography. We’ve explored why parents should take the lead in discussing sex in more detail—please check it out here.

Protect them outside

Do you know your children’s friends? Are you familiar with their parents?

Children’s first exposure to porn is usually by accident or shown by a friend or older sibling. 

Knowing the environment your are letting your child go into is important. If you are unsure, invite them to your home. 

Protect them without fear

I understand; that this topic can overwhelm us, quickly allowing fear to take control and leaving us with a sense of powerlessness. But we cannot give in to fear; we need to step up to protect and inform our children, take charge back into our own family, where it belongs, and be proactive.

This usually starts with us being honest with ourselves and our past and experiences with porn. Where am I still struggling? Where am I uninformed? What are my next steps? Where do I need more freedom? These are all questions we need to ask to better help our children to set healthy boundaries. We cannot teach them if we are struggling with no boundaries in place or have no idea what we are talking about. 

Protect them by getting there first

Loving our children means creating an atmosphere at home where they feel comfortable discussing anything without fear of judgment. This environment is built gradually over the years, but we often overlook the importance of open communication, especially regarding sex. It's crucial to set the tone and let our kids know that we are the safest and best place for these conversations. After all, 71% of children and teens don’t talk to their parents about what they see online. 

I feel this proactive approach is a powerful defense against the pervasive influence of porn culture. Our honesty and consistent communication serve as invaluable gifts to our kids, equipping them with the tools they need to navigate these challenging issues. For more insights on this, please check out our previously mentioned blog.

Protect them by being informed

Stay informed and keep learning about this topic. There are plenty of books and podcasts that can help you start the conversation and educate yourself. Don’t wait until the teenage years to address it—be prepared in advance. Especially since, unlike our kids, we didn’t grow up with this kind of instant and easy access to porn. We had to go looking for it, but today’s kids don’t—they’re surrounded by it.

There’s so much more we could dive into, but I’ll leave you with this: Take a stand, and raise a generation that’s not fearful, but informed—bold enough to make healthy choices for their sexuality and for the generations to come. With God on your side, nothing is impossible. He is not surprised by this over-sexualised culture, but He is raising up a generation that will walk with Him in purity, that generation is in your house.

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”