Moving Lessons
We’ve just moved overseas for the fifth time in five years. While most families may not relocate as frequently, transitions are a shared experience for many. Reflecting on this journey, I wanted to share some lessons and encouragement for those navigating the challenges of moving.
Moving house is not bliss, to put it carefully, although I know friends who love to move, I am not one of them.
My husband and I rented our first apartment in a small community outside Zurich when we got married, and relocated to our house in the neighbouring village just seven years later, where we stayed for 13 years. We'd only had to move once before, because we didn't have any furniture in our first apartment.
But since then we've caught up - we've changed homes five times in five different countries, including ten times within one country. Needless to say, although this was never our plan, we've learnt a thing or two along the way. And perhaps I should add that each of these moves has been with our three children - no small task!
Let's see what we've discovered.
The Move Starts Before the Move
Yes, there's the packing of boxes, which is the first thing that comes to mind when we think of a move - especially if you're not fortunate enough to have it done by the company you're moving for.
We’ve always packed ourselves, and over the years, we’ve discovered a few strategies that helped us stay organized during the process.
Categorize by Room
Pack items based on the room they belong to (e.g., kitchen, bedroom, bathroom).
Label each box with the room name to make unloading and unpacking easier.
Label Clearly
Use large, clear labels or color-coded tape for each room. Add a brief description of the contents (e.g., "Kitchen: utensils, dish towels").
Pack Essentials Separately
Create an "Essentials Box" for each family member with items you’ll need immediately (toiletries, clothes, snacks, and chargers). Keep this box with you during the move.
Group Similar Items
Pack similar items together to avoid damage and make unpacking logical (e.g., books together, fragile items like plates and glasses in one box).
Prioritize Heavily Used Items
Label boxes you’ll need to open first with "Open First" or "Priority."
Keep Important Documents Separate
Pack personal documents, passports, and other valuables in a separate, clearly labeled box or bag that stays with you.
These steps helped us a lot when we arrived. The overwhelm is real! Packing too early can leave you living in an empty space, while packing too late can add to the stress and chaos. It's a delicate balance to find.
Be Gracious with Yourself
The period leading up to the move is also emotional. We often focus on the arrival, but leaving can bring its own challenges: less sleep, saying goodbye, packing and letting go of familiar surroundings. Don't take this lightly.
Know what you need. Last time I found that I had to take time to wander around the city that has become my home away from home. I wanted to take it all in. While my husband was busy packing and organising, I wandered the streets. It was just what I needed.
You know what you need. Maybe you're like my husband, who thrives on organisation, or maybe you could use another coffee date with a friend. Whatever it is, plan for these moments - they are precious and irreplaceable.
During our last move, my husband and I made time for a few evenings out, following the local tradition of a late vermouth or some tapas. Did we have time? Not really. But we made time, and it brought us joy and renewed energy.
Be Aware of Your Children’s Emotions
As parents, we don't have the luxury of focusing solely on our emotions. Our children are also leaving school, friends, and home.
Look for Changes: Watch for signs of stress and address them. Take them out for hot chocolate or have a heart-to-heart while putting them to bed.
Let Them Feel: Allow them to process their emotions without carrying yours.
I'm melancholy by nature, so I have to be careful. When I left the tiny Caribbean island where we lived, I cried from door to door and in between. My family didn't feel the same way, and that's OK. Don't impose your feelings on your children.
For missionaries: it's crucial to honor your children's desire to keep certain toys or belongings. Missionary families often expect children to part with everything, but this can unintentionally make them feel as if their past life has no value. Be sure to pay for extra luggage to protect their hearts and preserve meaningful items from their old lives.
Get a Babysitter
If your children are young, consider hiring a babysitter or asking grandparents or friends to help out. Although we didn't need to because our children were older during our many moves, a friend found it incredibly helpful to have a sitter twice a week. It gave her the space to focus on the task of packing and organizing without distractions, making the process far less stressful for everyone involved.
Food Prep
Another pre-move task is food. As you try to use up your pantry, meals can become repetitive and time-consuming, and time is something you just don’t have. For a person like me, who loves to cook and prioritises health, it was hard. But I've learned to let go. Pasta, ramen or bread and cheese on repeat won't hurt anyone during this short season.
And fun fact: my children love it!
Going Away Party
If you decide to have a big going-away party, consider asking a friend to host it. This takes a significant amount of stress off your plate, and friends are often more than happy to help in such meaningful ways.
If hosting at someone’s home isn’t an option, a local park can be a great alternative. You could plan an open afternoon gathering where friends bring their favorite snacks to share. This creates a relaxed, communal atmosphere that everyone can enjoy.
Over the years, we’ve done both big gatherings and smaller, more personal farewells. Sometimes, my husband meets his guy friends for one last hangout, while I opt for individual coffee dates with my closest friends. Each approach has its charm, and it really depends on what feels right for you and your family during the transition.
Move Day
Start Early
Begin your day early to give yourself extra time for unexpected delays. Have a plan in place for how the day will flow, and communicate it clearly with everyone involved.
Stay Energized
Keep water bottles, snacks, and easy-to-eat meals readily available. Moving is physically demanding, and staying fueled will help maintain your energy.
Get Help
If you’re handling the move yourself, make sure to ask friends well in advance to set aside time to help. Be organized, punctual, and considerate—don’t leave people waiting. For larger moves, consider breaking the day into slots for friends to sign up. Let’s face it: you rarely need 20 people all at once, and staggered help can make the process smoother.
Thoughtful Notes
If you’d like to write notes or give gifts to friends, movers, neighbors, or anyone else important to you, don’t leave it until the last minute. I usually start weeks in advance, giving myself enough time to think about what to write or get, so it’s thoughtful and not rushed.
If you don’t find time before the move, that’s fine—just do it after you've settled into your new place.
And if you've never thought about doing this and feel anxious about one more thing on your list, forget about it quickly! 😊
Show Appreciation
Prepare croissants, drinks, and snacks for your helpers as a small gesture of appreciation. However, this isn’t the time to bake a cake or prepare a full lunch, especially if you’re moving to another country. If it’s a local move, adding a special touch, like an easy meal or a BBQ at your new place, you can ask friends who are not helping to move to make salads, which can be a wonderful way to end the day.
For overseas moves, such gatherings might not be feasible, but expressing gratitude to those who helped in any way you can is always a meaningful way to close the chapter.
Expect the Unexpected
Things rarely go perfectly on moving day. Whether it's a missing box or a late removal van, try to remain flexible and patient.
Take Breaks
Don’t underestimate the importance of short breaks. Moving is stressful, and stepping back for a few minutes to breathe can help you reset and stay focused.
Childcare
Get a babysitter for your smaller kids. Ask a grandparent or a sitter you know who could watch the kids during the move.
Settling In
Every time it hits us hard. It’s almost like childbirth—I forget about the pain until we’re there. This time was especially challenging,
But we remembered to be gracious and take one step after another. If we’re feeling overwhelmed, we leave the boxes aside. After all, nobody is going to die if they’re unpacked a week later.
For me, I’ve found ways to feel at home right away. It usually has to do with fresh flowers or greenery, candles, and my diffuser—smells are important. I make it a habit to vacuum every night. While this may stress some out, for me it gives me a sense of calm, even though you could argue it’s going to get dirty again the next day with unpacking. But it’s important for me.
I also make it a priority to get the kids’ space set up quickly. I’ve found that helping them get their space homier makes a big difference in how they settle in. We look for new ways to decorate their space and spend time dreaming together.
Be gracious with yourself
I cannot stress this enough. Emotions run high, and less sleep combined with so much work can lead to lashing out at your kids or husband. Ask for forgiveness quickly, and be gracious with yourself.
Go to bed early. I need a lot of sleep, and cutting back during a move doesn’t help me, even though my husband tends to handle it better.
Know yourself.
Final Thoughts
Moving is an emotional and logistical rollercoaster, but it’s also a time of growth. Be kind to yourself, make space for your family’s emotions, and embrace the imperfections. Whether you’re moving across the world or just down the street, I hope these lessons can help make the transition smoother.