Lawnmower Parents
The other day I read a headline about lawnmower parents. Wow, I thought, they are never for a loss of labels. But I was intrigued because I'd never heard of this term before and I love learning new things.
So what does that even mean: Lawnmower parents are those who go to great lengths to shield their children from any challenge, setback, or discomfort. They aim to “clear the path” for their kids, often by removing obstacles that could cause frustration or difficulty.
As the term suggests, lawnmower parents 'mow down' any potential roadblocks in their children's path, striving to create a smooth path but ultimately preventing their children from learning how to face and overcome challenges on their own.
One thing I’ve often noticed, especially in Barcelona when my schedule overlaps with school hours, is parents carrying their children's backpacks to and from school. I've seen it so many times—sometimes even a mom carrying multiple backpacks—while the children, perfectly healthy and strong, walk freely.
Now, don’t get me wrong. All these gestures, including carrying a child’s bag, can be perfectly fine in certain situations. But if it becomes a habit, we might be overlooking the long-term impact. The trend behind these new parenting labels comes from the best of intentions—we don’t want our kids to struggle unnecessarily. Yet, we might not think it through long enough to ask: is this short-term relief worth the potential consequences in the long run?
I’ve met many adults who were parented similarly. Maybe there wasn't a specific term for it back then, but that approach often ended up creating more challenges than it solved. Depending on the child's personality, this kind of help often became something they had to overcome as they grew up, rather than a habit that helped them in their adult life.
It seemed that resolve and determination were missing from their lives because someone had always stepped in to handle things. In a way, this overprotection left them paralyzed—weakening rather than strengthening their resilience throughout childhood. The same applied to problem-solving skills, as challenges weren’t presented healthily, nor were they allowed to find solutions on their own.
A sense of entitlement can also arise: “I don’t have to do the hard work—I’m meant for something greater.” If parents always stepped in to clean up messes or took over when boredom or inconvenience set in, it becomes easy to believe there will always be someone to handle the tough parts.
This can lead to a sense of helplessness too: Can I even do this on my own? After years of parents stepping in, a child might lack the confidence to handle things independently.
That’s not what we want as parents. No one intentionally says, “I’d rather do everything for my children and watch them struggle as adults.” We step in out of love and compassion. But ironically, when everything is done for them, they often miss out on developing true compassion themselves. In the same way, if we constantly give them everything they want, they won’t learn gratitude.
As parents, finding the right balance takes courage.
I often hear parents say, “My child would never have looked for a job, handled the paperwork, or completed the project on their own.” But the real question is—how will they ever learn if they’re never given the chance to try and even fail? Failure teaches some of life’s most valuable lessons. Learning to take responsibility for their own choices is essential for growth. And what better place to learn than within the comfort of home—where they can make mistakes, grow, and still have a support system to guide and encourage them along the way?
So, the question today is, are you a lawnmower parent?
Let's have a fun little quiz. Read this slowly and mark yourself from 1-3, 1 being the most likely.
You complete your Child’s homework or projects:
Do you find yourself stressing over your child's homework and projects, constantly reminding them - and then just doing it yourself? In the end, you've taken over their thought process. Out of frustration, you grab the reins because the fear of them not succeeding is too much for you to bear.
Pulling Your children out of activities that are too challenging
Your child was excited about a certain activity, but just a few weeks in, their interest fades. You’re tempted to step in and cancel, thinking, “Why push them if they don’t want to do it anymore?” You smooth the path, eager to avoid discomfort
You speak for your child
Every time they have an uncomfortable conversation - with a teacher, coach, or boss - you step in and manage it for them. Instead of letting them face these challenges on their own, you take over because you think it's easier to protect them from discomfort.
Blaming others when your child makes a mistake.
It can't possibly be your child’s fault, so you quickly shift the blame to others. In the same breath, you take charge, determined to "fix it" for them. But in doing so, you might be missing the opportunity to teach your child responsibility and accountability for their actions.
You clean their room and do their laundry
And no, I'm not talking about a two-year-old. Yes, children are more than capable of learning to do their laundry, but you feel they have enough on their plate, so you do it for them. In the short term, you may be taking some of the pressure off them, but you're also missing an opportunity to teach them independence and responsibility.
How have you scored on the Quiz?
We all carry a bit of this tendency, but perhaps you've noticed it growing more than you'd like to admit. Over the years, this may shift—what worked during your child's early years may feel like it's no longer enough, and now that they're in puberty, you might find yourself micromanaging out of fear.
So how can we set our family on a healthier path? Let's explore some ways to restore balance.
Encourage your child by letting them know you believe in their ability to do a great job on their homework or project. Speak affirmations over them: “I know you’re responsible, and I love to see you grow in this.” Offer support by saying, “If you need help with time management or organizing your day, I’m here,” but resist stepping in too quickly. Let them know you’re available, but allow them to handle the thought process and decision-making. They can and will make good choices, while also developing problem-solving skills.
Teach them that making mistakes is completely fine in your home. This is a greenhouse for growth—failing after effort is part of the process, but even when there’s no effort, there’s a lesson to be learned. They’ll only truly learn if they feel the sting of their own choices. Sharing your wisdom and guiding your kids is vital, but be careful not to take over and do the work for them. Support your child while giving him space to navigate challenges independently.
Encourage your child to be determined to stick with something even when they lose interest, and teach them about perseverance and resilience. What does that mean? Talk about life stories like Thomas Edison famous for his relentless pursuit of the light bulb despite numerous setbacks, Malala Yousafzai for her courage and determination in advocating for education, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and many more.
Allow your child to do the talking. Whether it's ordering their meal or speaking with a teacher about a missed assignment, allow them to communicate on their own. Teach them that they don’t have to be afraid to speak up and that there’s always a polite, respectful way to do so. By doing this, you're helping them build confidence—a skill they’ll carry with them throughout their entire life.
Teach them to take ownership. When they make a mistake, instead of immediately shifting the blame, encourage them to reflect on what happened and what they could have done differently. You can ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think went wrong?” or “How could we approach this differently next time?”
Model accountability yourself. When you make a mistake, openly acknowledge it and show how you take responsibility. This teaches them that mistakes are a natural part of life and an opportunity to grow. Let your child know that it’s okay to fail as long as they learn from it, and support them in finding solutions without rushing to fix things for them. By fostering an environment where accountability is valued, you're empowering your child to face challenges confidently and develop strong problem-solving skills.
Help your child learn independence and responsibility, and gradually shift the responsibility of tasks like cleaning their room and doing their laundry to them. Start by breaking down the tasks into manageable steps, and offer guidance on how to do things properly. For example, show them how to sort laundry or organize their room, then encourage them to take over while providing support as needed. Instead of stepping in when they seem overwhelmed, try asking, “How do you think you can get this done?” or “What’s the next step in organizing your room?” This encourages problem-solving and decision-making, fostering their sense of ownership. If they’re hesitant or struggling, offer encouragement without doing it for them. Let them know you believe in their ability to handle it and that mistakes are part of the learning process. By allowing them to take on these responsibilities, you're teaching them valuable life skills that will serve them well as they grow.
This is a long-term journey, so stay focused on the goal ahead. Take it one step at a time, starting today. Don’t be discouraged if you feel like you’ve fallen into old habits. But I want to gently remind you: while great parenting tips can help, they won’t change deeper-rooted issues. If you find yourself driven by fear that your children might miss out or by a lack of confidence, take time to reflect with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to do the deep work within you. If trust in God is the issue, let Him teach you—He is faithful and trustworthy. Allow His word to wash over the lies and guide you toward true peace.
Letting fear prevent your children from growing is not an option! Embrace the healing journey, and watch how it transforms you, your parenting, and your children—and beyond. It’s worth it.