Parenting Seasons

Wow, parenting really does unfold in seasons. No matter where you are right now-maybe you're pregnant and excited to start your family, with dreams and excitement filling every conversation. Or this pregnancy wasn't planned, and it feels like it came at the worst possible time, leaving you anxious about the future. Remember, even if you didn't plan for it, He did. No baby is an accident; each one is carefully chosen by God, the Creator, to come into this world at just the right time.

Whether you're filled with excitement or fear, we need Him right from the start. Parenting is an incredibly precious, sometimes overwhelming, sleep-deprived, joy-filled, priceless mission. It's a never-ending, unforgettable, and often painful journey through many different seasons. But remember, we were never meant to walk this path alone.

I'm realizing now, with one adult child and another quickly approaching that stage, that parenting is a lifelong cycle of seasons. It doesn't end when they turn 18, leave home, get married, have their first child, or buy a home. It continues, evolving in different ways, but you remain their parent forever.

I find this quote sums it up pretty well:

“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” ― Elizabeth Stone.

We've already walked through many seasons with our three children, and I know there are plenty more ahead. I was the mom who would have loved to hold onto one forever—any other parents out there feel the same? Change has never been my best friend, even though I've grown immensely through it and am so much better than years ago. When we welcomed our first child in 2005, it marked the beginning of a journey through countless seasons. I didn't realize it then, but this journey was never meant to stay static. Looking back, I'm grateful I didn't know.

Let’s look a couple of stages.

Adjusting to a Newborn

In movies and conversations with new parents, the newborn stage often gets romanticized. But lately, I've noticed a helpful growing vulnerability among moms who are starting to share the real struggles, because it's not all bliss.

I remember hearing other moms say that the moment their baby was placed on their chest, they couldn’t imagine life without them. But for me, it was different. I could easily picture the spontaneous dates with my husband, the uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep, and even grocery shopping without a stroller. Thankfully, I had other moms in my life who reassured me that these feelings were normal too and didn't make me a bad mom.

It's easy to feel like a "bad mom" when things don’t go as planned—you couldn’t have a natural birth, breastfeeding didn’t work out, or that instant, overwhelming love didn’t hit you right away. But it's okay. Putting pressure on ourselves won’t help, but letting our Creator guide us through the process is key right from the start.

Remember, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9). We don’t like to boast about our weaknesses, but that's exactly what the following verse encourages: "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." (verse 10).

I wasn’t just adjusting to having a baby at home—I was physically healing from childbirth, breastfeeding, and juggling a whirlwind of emotions. Even though I had an easy birth, I wasn’t prepared for that season.

If you're in that place, know that it’s normal. Take your time, move at your own pace, and don’t feel pressured by the expectations of others. Everyone might want to see your baby, but if you're not ready, it's okay to set boundaries as a couple or single parent.

Parenting comes in seasons, and each one requires adjustment. We’re often not fully prepared for the changes, and that's okay. It’s happened to me many times—feeling like I’m lagging behind and then catching my breath for what’s ahead. Give yourself grace!

Adjusting to the Babyphase

So much happens in that first year—it feels like an explosion of seasons all at once. From establishing a schedule and healthy sleep habits to feeding, teething, and watching that first toothy smile. Then comes sitting up, crawling, and maybe even walking. As your little one becomes more mobile, it's time to baby-proof your home—like securing that mirror that was never properly attached to the wall. You're also beginning to teach them about boundaries as they explore their world.

Seeing it all written out brings back all the feels of that season. If you’re in the thick of it now, know that you were handpicked by the Creator Himself for this baby. He’s right there, waiting to guide you—just ask Him. Maybe you’re also feeling the bittersweetness of how quickly time is passing, or you’re already anticipating the next milestone, eager for the next season to start.

Take a moment to process your emotions and stay present. You’ll never get this time back. We hear that a lot and it can lose its impact, but it’s true. Every moment and every milestone is precious.

Adjusting to the Toddler years

Experts typically define the toddler stage as beginning when your baby turns 1 and lasting until about age 3.

Talking, walking, breaking rules, big smiles, occasional tantrums, and family meals-all these experiences fill the toddler years. During this time, children learn by imitating those around them, which can be a poignant reminder of our responsibility as their role models. While it's a joyful time of discovery, it can also be challenging as toddlers begin to test boundaries and explore their world. You’ll soon find yourself navigating the rapid waters of toddlerhood. If you haven’t used the word “no” yet, brace yourself—your child will quickly pick it up as they start mimicking everything you say and do. You might hope it won’t become their first word, but toddlers are quick learners and even quicker imitators.

I want to encourage you at this crucial time: Set clear family goals for what you want to teach your children-whether it's obedience, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, or gratitude. Start now, and be prepared to walk your talk. This may mean getting up from what you're doing or interrupting your routine to guide them, but you're laying an important foundation during these formative toddler years. Please don't wait for this stage to pass by on its own; take action now. Remember, God will provide the extra energy and support you need. You've got this!

Adjusting to your Preschooler

In most countries, preschool typically runs from age 3 to 5 or 6. During this time, you'll see rapid improvements in language as children begin to ask a variety of questions such as "what," "why," and "how. Their motor skills become more refined, and they begin to understand their feelings better while improving their concentration.

As your child enters preschool, he or she may experience a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement to anxiety. Both will require your guidance and encouragement. Consistency is crucial—your "yes" should always be a "yes," and your "no" should be a "no." Establishing and maintaining this habit is essential as your child navigates this exciting stage of development.

If you're married, your relationship with your spouse becomes even more important during this time. Any imbalance in your relationship can be deeply felt, as you are both a foundational part of your child’s word. It's important to nurture and maintain your connection by making conscious efforts to strengthen your relationship. Prioritize quality time together and communicate openly to ensure that your bond remains strong amid the challenges of parenthood.

Adjusting to the School-age years

School-age development involves the physical, emotional, and intellectual growth expected of children between the ages of 6 and 12. During this stage, you'll discover your child's love language, observe his or her strengths and challenges in school subjects, and witness his or her evolving skills. As your child interacts with the wider world, he or she may encounter values and influences that are different from those at home.

This is also a critical time to have ongoing conversations about sensitive topics, such as sex, and to make informed decisions about mobile devices, gaming, and social media before your child raises these issues.

Parents who grew up in different eras may not always be aware of the pressures and challenges their children face. It's important to stay informed, protect your child, and make courageous choices, even if they're different from what others are doing. Remember, your role as a parent is to guide and support your child through these formative years.

The five stages of child development are Newborn, Infant, Toddler, Preschooler, and School-Age but let's not overlook the crucial teenage years.

Adjusting to the Teenage years

This stage is marked by growth spurts, puberty, voice changes, and changing body shapes. It can be a testing time for parents as their child begins to seek more independence, compares himself to peers, and is more influenced by friends. Meanwhile, our own lives tend to get even busier.

It's important to remember that your teen still needs you. The way you show affection may change-perhaps a pat on the shoulder replaces a hug-but your role remains vital. It is key to provide encouragement and be present without jumping in to fix or rearrange their problems. Avoid criticism and offer support as they open up.

Instead of fearing or criticizing today's teenagers, recognize that this is a critical time to strengthen your bond and build a relationship that will last into adulthood. Flip the script—be the voice of hope for parents stepping into the teenage years, and let yourself be filled with His truth.

As we step into the adult years, we realize that parenting continues to evolve through countless seasons, each bringing its unique challenges and rewards. We're on the brink of this new chapter, and because change has always been our companion, we embrace it with hope, knowing that the One who has guided us so far will never leave us alone. What a comforting and hopeful assurance.

Wherever you find yourself, remember that you are not stuck and there is no need to rush forward. Cherish the season in all its shades, knowing that each moment adds a new layer to the relationship you're nurturing.