Train up a Child
Many of us are familiar with this Bible verse about parenting. For some, it brings excitement, while for others, who may be facing the opposite reality, it can feel frustrating - even shameful.
Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they've learned from you will be with them for life. Proverbs 22:6 TPT
Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he grows older he will not abandon it. Proverbs 22:6 NASB
For me, this verse has always been a source of joy, offering a priceless invitation and promise from the Bible. I love to dive deeper into its meaning because I think we can miss a lot of its power if we don't. It's such a rich verse. The Hebrew word for 'train' is חָנַךְ (ḥānaḵ) which means:
To dedicate
To train
To inaugurate
To make experienced
To set aside
Let's look at some of them. It's a verse that's particularly meaningful to us parents, a key verse in the Bible, you might say, a real encouragement.
Dedicate
In the bible ḥānaḵ is used to dedicate a house various times. (Deu 20:5, 1. Ki 8:63, 2. Ch 7:5). Most parents probably read this verse as focusing on training, because training feels practical - it is active and requires us to take intentional steps. As essential as that is, it's equally important that we dedicate our children to God from the very beginning and continue to do so throughout their lives, not because He's forgotten, but because we can quickly and easily take back the reins.
Our children are a gift from God, an inheritance entrusted to us. They are not ours to own or control, but to nurture and guide with His wisdom and love. Our role as parents is to point them back to Him and ensure that they grow in His ways, knowing that our responsibility is both a privilege and a wonderful calling. By surrendering them to God, we align their lives with His purpose.
Perhaps you've never really dedicated your child to God in a personal, practical way. Yes, you may have had a baby dedication at church, but have you taken the time to sit with God and consciously, deliberately dedicate your child to Him as an act of faith - acknowledging that you can't do this precious, vital task alone and that you are totally dependent on Him?
If you haven't already, take some time this week to do so. Or maybe it's time to rededicate your child, especially if you've taken control back. Maybe you've been making decisions out of fear, trying to control things instead of trusting God completely. This can be even more challenging as our children grow. It's easier to surrender a younger child - they're always close - but as they enter their teenage years and adulthood, we are reminded of the need to surrender them to God again and again.
Remember, we are called to let go and trust that God knows what's best for them and for us. Recommit yourself to His will and let His peace guide you on your parenting journey and beyond.
Train
Paul tells us to "bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesian 6:4). What does that actually mean for you? I hope it doesn't just involve dragging them to church on Sunday mornings, maybe arguing on the way, dropping them off at nursery and hoping the church will do the teaching. While I appreciate everything our children's church staff do, their efforts should be seen as complementary to the training and teaching that is happening at home. The two should go hand in hand, working together to support the essential task of teaching our children about the Lord in our family.
Creating an appetite in a child, encouraging their heart to do something, is an important part of parenting. In Jewish culture in the Middle East, it was customary for a midwife to place oil or crushed dates on the top of a baby's mouth to help it develop a taste for food. This action encouraged the baby to suckle, creating an appetite for the mother's milk.
Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good.
This verse is linked to the idea of ḥānaḵ , which means 'training' or 'dedicating' a child. It's not just about wanting food, but about training children to develop a taste for the ways of the Lord. The intention is to teach them to seek God's goodness.
Deuteronomy 11:19 says: "You shall also teach them to your sons, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you get up.
This passage reminds us that training our children in God's ways happens in everyday life - through conversations, actions and moments spent together. The goal is to shape their hearts and appetites for God's truth in every situation.
It is not just about teaching children right from wrong; it is about instilling in them a deep sense of purpose and commitment to follow God's commands.
But first, let your children see your hunger for God. Let them witness your dependence on Him, your commitment to make time to be with your heavenly Father. Show them how you're being transformed by the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit. Let your appetite reflect not the quick fixes of the world, fast food, but the slow, nourishing soul food of sitting at your Creator's feet and waiting on Him. This is the example that will truly touch their hearts.
Too often and so quickly we talk about things that we do not live, and in doing so we make it difficult for our children to receive a longing for His Word, His presence. If we don't have a desire for Him in our own lives, how can we expect that desire to grow in theirs? Our actions, our dedication, must be the mirror in which they see His goodness, a reflection that moves their hearts to seek Him as we do.
Without this, the hunger for His truth may remain distant, fading into something that no longer feels worth seeking.
It truly is delicate and maybe you have experienced a home, where talk was stronger than walk and it left you frustrated and rebelious.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself to you in a new way, so that your relationship with Him is filled with life, presence and intimacy. Let Him breathe into your faith so that it's not just words that you speak, but a living testimony that you pass on to others. May your walk with God be so real and dynamic that it becomes contagious and creates an appetite for your children.
Mom, dad let’s embrace our sacret calling—the responsibility of shaping the hearts and minds of our children. Instead of pushing it aside, until everything else is done, let’s take it front and center, because it will impact the next generations. We are called to be spiritual nurturers, creating an environment that draws our children closer to God and helps prepare them to fulfill their unique purpose in the world.
Too often we focus on all the well-intentioned tasks of nurturing our children physically. We work hard to feed them, buy toys, take them on trips, help them with their schoolwork, send them to language classes and sports clubs. These are all good things, but let's not forget to put the spiritual formation of our children back in its rightful place. I know it's not always easy. It's hard enough keeping up with all this, and adding another thing feels like a tower in danger of collapsing.
It won’t. But there may be other things you need to take off your plate as well. Go for it—make that bold choice. If we believe that what Proverbs 22:6 says is true, and that sometimes we need to reflect in order to make changes, then reordering our priorities will help us on this journey, which often goes against societal norms and sometimes even church norms.
It takes patience, humility and trust in God's timing . But in every moment of teaching, correcting and encouraging, we are partnering with God in His greater plan for our children. How we lead them today will shape how they lead others and their children tomorrow, excited or scary? If it's the latter, then surrender to Him and ask what changes need to happen for you to feel excited about this mandate. Let Him guide you in realigning your heart and priorities so that you can embrace this calling with joy and purpose.
The impact of a godly parent can't even be measured. It's in the quiet and sometimes loud prayers, the daily routines and the small but intentional acts of love that shape our children's futures. The responsibility is huge, but the reward is even greater - knowing that by God's grace we're part of something much bigger, playing a key role in His kingdom here on earth.
I hope you are as excited as me, if not yet, you will get there!