Simplify - Structured Play Time
Explore the detailed insights on Simplifying Meal Planning and Structuring your homemaking in our recent blog posts. If you haven't delved into them yet, you can find the links below.
Simplify - Weekly Meal Planning
Now, let's delve into simplifying the every day with our children.
In our last post, I highlighted the significance of playtime—did you catch it? The possibility of managing housework while your child engages in play. It might sound too good to be true, but yes, it is not only possible but also holds the potential to transform your daily routine. Let's uncover the secrets together.
Mothers frequently inquired about how I navigated my days with three young children. It's crucial to emphasize that the idea of having a third child, perhaps even a second, without a structured daily routine was beyond my imagination. Witnessing fellow mothers struggling with a single child, acutely aware that the same could be my reality, instills in me a deep gratitude for the invaluable support—structured daily life! This didn’t just happen; they aren't inherently special, though they are our unique treasures. I'm not privileged in any conventional sense, yet I feel an abundance of it by having them as my precious gifts. I lack a nanny, cleaning assistance, a cook, a personal coach, or a therapist.
Some have tried to convince themselves that I must have easy children. Let's be honest—can one truly have three easy children? Perhaps one might be considered easy, but even the outwardly uncomplicated ones pose challenges in different ways. I won't delve into specifics here, reserving that for a later conversation.
What I've come to realize is that mothers, and I say this with all due respect, often prefer to believe that I have an easy child and they don't. It's almost as if acknowledging the role of intentionality, investment, and perhaps even structure in my journey is too confronting. This implies that it's not mere chance but the result of deliberate effort.
When faced with such questions, I used to dismiss them with a nod and a smile. Efforts to persuade others that my parenting journey wasn't a walk in the park proved futile. It became evident that, beneath their inquiries, there was a deep-seated desire to uncover the intentional facets of my parenting journey, which ideally should appear effortless.
Honestly, I would have preferred the magic wand solution too. Yet, after over 18 years of parenting and walking alongside many parents, I've come to cherish the process within myself. Parenting feels like the best on-the-job Bible school. It confronts us with life issues that can't be neatly tucked away; instead, we must address the revelations of our pain and scars.
Ignoring these challenges won't make them disappear. Our children won't miraculously outgrow bad habits, a belief many of us hold onto.
Perhaps, just perhaps, we've been placed on this journey, this marathon, not merely to stand on the sidelines and prevent our children from getting hurt but to actively train them up.
Okay, I might be rambling a bit. Let's circle back to structure and playtime. Yes, it's possible.
If anything saved me, it was the recommendations of good friends. I witnessed it in real life—children who didn't just play whenever they wanted but had a designated and structured playtime during the day, which gave them as a mom, time. A valuable commodity.
We started as early as 6 Months with playpen time, just to get them used to it.
Let’s look at it:
Playpen Time/Room Time
Playpen? It used to be considered outdated, a relic from our moms' era that we, the hip new mothers, didn't embrace. However, it made a comeback, evolving into almost room-size playpens just as my kids had outgrown the age for it.
Feeling like there's no time for a shower? Can't enjoy a peaceful coffee? Forget about a phone call with a friend? That's when the playpen steps into your daily routine (sounds like a good commercial, doesn't it?). Instead of resorting to TV time when you need to get things done, consider incorporating playtimes. I use them during meetings with other mothers, 1:1 coaching sessions, while preparing for events, waiting for a flight, or assisting someone with cleaning. You don't always need a babysitter; you can take your children along and pack some toys.
Let’s look at the Benefits:
Independent Play Skills: Playtime encourages children to play on their own, fostering independence and the ability to entertain themselves. This skill is valuable for their future and promotes a sense of autonomy.
Imagination and Creativity: Through play, children use their imagination and creativity to explore different scenarios, develop stories, and interact with toys. This imaginative play is crucial for cognitive and creative development.
Concentration and Focus: Playtime helps children practice concentration and focus as they engage with specific toys or activities. This skill is transferable to various aspects of their lives, including academic tasks.
Problem-Solving Skills: Play involves overcoming challenges and solving problems, whether it's figuring out how to assemble toys, building structures, or navigating imaginary scenarios. This enhances problem-solving and critical thinking abilities.
Emotional Regulation: Play provides a platform for children to express and process their emotions. It allows them to act out different situations, understand emotions, and develop emotional regulation skills.
Motor Skills Development: Depending on the type of play, children can enhance their fine and gross motor skills. Activities like building with blocks, drawing, or playing sports contribute to physical coordination and control.
Language Development: Play often involves verbal communication, which supports language development. Children may narrate stories, engage in pretend play with dialogue, and expand their vocabulary through these interactions.
Routine and Structure: Establishing a playtime routine provides a structure for children. Having designated times for play helps them understand expectations and creates a sense of security.
Parental or Caregiver Time: While children engage in play, parents or caregivers can use this time for various activities. It provides a break for parents, allowing them to complete tasks or relax briefly.
Overall, playtime is a holistic and essential aspect of a child's growth, contributing to their cognitive, social, emotional, and physical development. Moreover, it provides a window during the day when parents can tackle tasks, shower, prepare, or simply enjoy moments of peace without a baby or toddler clinging to their leg. Personally, this was the time I used to build a parenting ministry in Switzerland, translating books, writing blogs, and more.
Importantly, playpen time serves as a foundation for the room hour—a later stage where a child spends time playing alone in their room. It's unrealistic to expect a child, who has never experienced independent play, to suddenly engage in room time for an hour at 2 1/2 years old. Playpen time sets the stage for gradually increasing independence. If you are starting late, we will be looking into that too.
How to get started:
To make the most of playpen time, initiating the practice when the child is a baby is highly recommended. This early introduction helps them acclimate to the concept from their formative years. During the initial months, consider allowing the baby to engage in playpen activities for 10 to 20 minutes twice a day. As the baby progresses to the sitting stage, extend the playtime to 15 to 30 minutes twice a day. When the baby starts crawling, allocate 30 to 45 minutes for playpen time once a day. As the child reaches the age range of 15 to 20 months, encourage a daily playpen session of one hour. Embrace the experience and enjoy the benefits!
The room hour is a continuation of that. This can be started around 24-36 months, depending on the child. A word of caution: don't start the room hour too early. Toddlers can often be overwhelmed with too much freedom. If you find yourself repeatedly bringing your child back to the room, it might be better to wait a few months. I know, as parents, we're always eager to move forward, but appreciating what we have is a precious thing. Playpen time and the room hour help the child focus and learn to play independently.
Does your child play well alone? Not just when they want to, but when you say so? During playpen time/room hour, you have enough time for yourself too! Time for yourself is incredibly important to recharge and have new energy.
Starting late
There is always hope! If you're new to this concept but eager to incorporate it into your routine, you can still do so. Wondering how to start? Let's explore a couple of ways to support you.
Purchase an egg timer. There are super fun shapes, from muffins to cows, chicks, etc. Anything you can explain visually will greatly help your child. Set the timer - initially for just a few minutes - and off you go. Your child learns that they can play until the timer rings, and not that you'll come to get them if they cry enough.
Decide: Can your child play alone in the room, or would it be overwhelmed? Then a playpen or travel cot might be a better alternative. Perhaps you just have to try it out. However, if your child pulls everything out of the shelves and doesn't play properly with anything, that's a good indicator that it's too early for room time.
Take a week and stay consistent. Same time every day. It's advisable to start after breakfast. Your child is well-rested, has eaten, and is ready. An overtired or hungry child won't help.
Consider purchasing toys exclusively designated for playtime, creating a special association with that period. If your child has an abundance of toys, you might want to think about packing some away and rotating them. This way, they won't feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options and can fully engage with the toys introduced during their dedicated playtime. This simple adjustment can enhance the effectiveness of playpen time and contribute to a more focused and enjoyable play experience for your child.
Speak positively about playtime so your child doesn't feel like you're trying to push it away. It should be a great time.
Assist your child. If you're just starting with playtime and your child is characterized by constantly clinging to your leg, and you've been its sole entertainer, independent playtime might overwhelm it initially. Sit with it in the room and show it what to do with the respective toys.
Important: Be convinced yourself first! Many parents try playtime as it sounds good and would be nice to have an hour to themselves. However, if you're not convinced, you'll quickly give up in the first few days if it gets difficult and your child protests loudly. Consider the benefits, discuss it with your spouse or a good friend, and approach it with enthusiasm. This will help you through the challenging times.
Structuring your week with the inclusion of dedicated playtime has been a personal game-changer for me. It offers a precious window during the day—on some occasions, a moment I eagerly anticipated, and on others, a respite I desperately needed. Whether I longed to flip through a magazine or simply savor a cup of hot coffee, playtime became that essential break.
Embarking on this journey of cultivating a new skill, especially one as impactful as structured playtime, may come with its challenges. Recognizing this, it's essential to acknowledge that you don't have to navigate this path alone. We are here to provide support, understanding, and guidance as you embrace and implement this positive change in your routine. Remember, growth often involves a collaborative effort, and we are committed to walking alongside you.