Overstimulated

A baby can become overstimulated and have trouble falling asleep. Often this leads to fatigue, and mom or dad has to step in to help. But the same thing can happen with toddlers, school-age children, and yes, even us adults. Have you ever found yourself unable to sleep after watching an exciting movie? Or tossed and turned in bed after an emotional conversation? Or not been able to sleep after working too long at the computer? You see, we all face this problem and need to be proactive about what helps us relax before bedtime and what doesn’t!

Some avoid drinking coffee after 4:00 p.m., I embarrassingly could not believe this after a few years ago I had problems falling asleep at night, which I never had and after a long list of going through potential stressors, the coffee came up and now I have to limit my intact to 3:00 p.m., while others refrain from watching TV right before bedtime. Still others avoid working late at night. If we're honest with ourselves, we know exactly what works for us and what doesn't work for us. Whether we actually implement these practices is another question! Isn't it interesting that many times we have the knowledge of what we should do, but the act of doing it is a whole other story? We know, but we have no way or sometimes no real interest in doing it. What do you know that will help you sleep better?

Perhaps it is establishing a consistent sleep schedule. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends, helps regulate your body's internal clock, or developing a relaxing bedtime routine, such as incorporating calming activities like reading a book or taking a warm bath. It can also be creating a comfortable sleeping environment is essential for a restful night's sleep. Make sure your bedroom is conducive to sleep by keeping it dark, quiet, and cool. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows, and consider using blackout curtains.

You may be able to improve your sleep patterns by optimizing your screen time, closely monitoring your diet and exercise routines, and effectively managing stress.

What is it for you? Isn't it true: We can know a thing, but then we don't do it? It's like Naaman in 2 Kings, who was sick with leprosy and was told by the prophet's messenger to go and wash seven times in the Jordan River, he got very angry and wanted to go, and his servant said: Father, if the prophet told you to do a great thing, you would do it, wouldn't you?

I feel like sometimes we are waiting for this big thing to happen. We have sleep problems and it affects our whole life because that's what sleep deprivation does to us. It's not concentrated at night, but it has an effect on impaired cognitive function, memory problems, mood changes, weakened immune function, increased risk of accidents, weight gain, decreased libido, increased risk of chronic disease, poor physical performance, poor quality of life. Honestly, we'd love to have a fairy with a magic wand who could turn us into superhumans who needed less sleep and could do the same or even more.

We all have the same amount of time in the day, so making those small changes seems so much harder and maybe less magical and even less glamorous. That's what makes us human; we can't rewrite our bodies, we have to listen to its cues and signs, and sometimes that just feels too weak. Am I not right?

So what changes do you need to make?

I had to reduce my caffeine intake after 3 p.m., and after years of fighting it, I know that an early bedtime is what I need to feel healthy and take care of my family. I need 8-9 hours of sleep, which honestly has been a shift in my acknowledging, accepting, and then yes, doing it.

A few weeks into the Family Oasis, I started the bad habit of taking my computer to bed with me. Our house is pretty cold in the winter because it's not well insulated, so my only cozy place is the bed. Does that feel like an excuse? Well, it is. I could keep it up, but I know it hasn't been good for me.

This is my next step toward a better sleep environment.

I am persistent because I know how much your family will benefit from your rest. A rested mom and dad are just so much more fun than a tired one.

I am more impatient, easily angered, and not really enjoyable to be around when I am tired. So I am taking the necessary steps to improve that.

We also teach by example, as we all know. So if we're going to teach them to care for themselves, they're going to need us to do it first.

Have I got your attention yet?

As adults, we have the choice to make these decisions for ourselves, even though they are very difficult because they involve sacrifice and limiting ourselves, but our children cannot do this yet! They need our help and support. They need a mom and a dad who will pay attention to outside influences and make decisions on their behalf. Our last post highlighted the importance of sleep for your children. How are you doing? I conscientiously ask not how are your kids, but how are you? Because we are the architects of our children's healthy sleep patterns; so much is taught in childhood.

What about the child who is overwhelmed by the pace of the family?

Every child is different! Although we try not to compare our children, we often do this unconsciously.

Perhaps you have an active family, always on the go, always doing something. All the children participate enthusiastically and have fun, except for the middle child who prefers to play quietly in his room. Saying, "Come out of your room, we have something great planned!" doesn't help. Neither does saying, "Look, your siblings are ready and excited" - and that's just comparing. They may ask for more time alone, more time to play. They may be constantly asking for a day at home. 

Everyone seems to be on the same page except for one child.

How do you deal with this challenge? Does the majority win, and you reluctantly drag that one child along, wondering why he's so restless in the evenings? You have to face the fact that the norm of our culture, where the majority wins, doesn't work in a family. This can only happen at the expense of one child, even if it's "just" one who prefers a slower pace. These children are often perfectly happy at home, with minimal distractions and not running from one invitation to another. The fast pace doesn't seem to agree with them.

Think of it as an opportunity for the whole family to spend time together in a way that works for your one child.

I know this can be hard if you're very active, but it's a great way to slow down. We all win when we know how to be active but at a slower pace. Later in life, your children will choose the one that comes more naturally to them. But teaching them the other side and reaping the benefits is great.

Be sure to schedule quiet time for everyone, not just one child, because it benefits everyone. 

Overstimulation has many facets. It is not always easy to identify.

Maybe it's your youngest child whom you carry everywhere, causing him to miss his regular naps and go to bed late. Maybe it's a child who can't watch a movie at bedtime because they feel the need to talk about it afterwards or are too restless to fall asleep.

If you feel that the difficulty falling asleep isn't because the child isn't tired or doesn't want to sleep, consider whether other factors may be at play.

Whatever it is, stay alert.

Of course, you can't revolve your entire life around one child - and you don't have to! Different children have different needs, and teaching them to be attentive to the needs of others, while ensuring that their own needs as a family are met and taken seriously, is invaluable!

Creating an environment where they can share there struggles but still see each other's needs is a gift for life.