Grateful Hearts, Peaceful Moments?
As Thanksgiving approaches, let's talk about gratitude—but more importantly, let’s explore our expectations. We often think of gratitude as something we express after receiving, but how often do we take a moment to examine the expectations we bring to the table? What are we hoping for beyond the turkey and pumpkin pie? Are we expecting the perfect gathering, or are we willing to embrace what unfolds and find gratitude in the imperfect moments?
This is huge. Take a minute to think about it: what are your expectations for this year’s Thanksgiving?
These thoughts often wander around in our minds, just below our awareness. But if we write them down or say them out loud, we may suddenly realise that some of what we're expecting to happen doesn't quite match up with the current reality. We'll look at this in more detail soon. Gratitude isn't just about saying "thank you"—it's about cultivating a heart that sees blessings in every situation, no matter what it looks like. This Thanksgiving, let’s reflect not only on what we have, but on how we approach each moment with an open heart, ready to embrace whatever comes our way.
The Bible puts it perfectly in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
I love how the Message translation says it in 1 Thessalonians 5:18:
"Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live."
No matter what.
For those of us with little ones, this is a timely reminder—we often have high expectations for their behavior, how we want them to act, and how we think things should go. But let’s face it: little ones are still learning and figuring out how to make sense of the world around them. And we should ask ourselves: have we taught them what gratitude looks like outside of challenging situations? Are we grateful? What does politeness look like? What are manners, and why are they so important? Raising humans isn’t about clinging to an ideal in our heads—we need to be intentional.
It's easy to get caught up in the notion of perfect manners or the ideal family moment, especially during the holidays. But sometimes what kids need most is patience and understanding. Parenting isn’t just about the holidays when our expectations are at an all-time high and we’re frustrated if things don’t turn out the way we imagined.
This doesn’t mean we throw expectations out the window; it means we shift our focus from perfection to progress and teach our children throughout the year. We make room for growth, not just in our children, but in ourselves. A grateful heart doesn’t demand only the best behavior; it’s grateful for the small, messy, noisy, and perfectly imperfect moments. This Thanksgiving, let’s remember it’s not about how neatly everything fits together, but about the joy of being present, loving, and grateful for the journey. It’s not about appearing put together—it’s about being on the journey.
Let go of things you can’t control. Often, we spend so much time trying to change situations or people that we miss the opportunity to focus on what we can control—our own mindset, responses, and actions.
So, let’s reel it back to us.
How grateful am I?
What do my kids see in me? How polite am I? How kind?
It’s getting very personal now. Can you feel it? I can.
Let the Holy Spirit take us on a journey of gratitude. My prayer is, “Help me to be grateful no matter what.”
During this season, leading up to Christmas but way beyond.
Let’s look at this quote:
“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation. John Ortberg
Gratitude is liberating. It brings everything into perspective, inviting us to appreciate life itself each day. This truly struck me when I lived in the Caribbean; there, prayers often began with a simple, heartfelt “Thank you, God, for letting me wake up this morning.” I was deeply moved by this, realizing how rarely we pause to be thankful simply for being alive. It brings us back to our Creator, reminding us that life itself is a gift. We know it—but do we really get it?
As we reflect on the posture of our own hearts, let’s pause before rushing to create the perfect Thanksgiving meal or urging the kids to be polite, kind, and, yes, quiet. Let’s focus on gratitude that reaches deeper than the meal or the moment, bringing a true sense of love and thankfulness to the table—one that our children can see, feel, and experience firsthand. This will lay a foundation of teaching that endures for years to come. Remember, parenting is not a sprint up to important holidays, but a marathon for life.
Let’s look at a couple of hands on encouragments.
Embrace Family Bonds: Instead of focusing on potential conflicts, approach family gatherings with a spirit of love and understanding. Focus on connecting with those you care about, and practice patience and empathy, especially when navigating differences.
Enjoy the Process, Not Perfection: Instead of striving for perfection, shift your focus to enjoying the moment. Remember that the holiday is about connection and gratitude, not just the perfect meal or setting. Embrace the imperfections with joy!
Practice Effective Time Management: Plan ahead and create a schedule that allows you to balance all your commitments. Prioritize what’s most important and allow for flexibility. Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to others, making the day more relaxed for everyone.
Set a Budget and Stick to It: Plan your Thanksgiving expenses with a clear budget in mind. Focus on the things that truly matter, like time spent with loved ones, and find creative ways to enjoy the holiday without overextending yourself financially.
Focus on What Matters: Rather than comparing your holiday to others on social media, focus on your own experience. Celebrate the little moments that make your Thanksgiving unique and special. Turn of social media.
Focus on what truly matters, practicing gratitude not only during the holidays but as a rhythm in everyday life. If frustration lingers after the celebrations, resist letting it spill over onto your family. Instead, take a quiet moment with the Holy Spirit, inviting peace and fresh perspective to settle in.
Why do you feel this way?
What does He think about it?
Journal your conversation. It might be realistic frustrations about your kids not behaving well, but it's important to remember that this is part of life—even when it’s not a holiday. Usually, we don’t mind so much, but suddenly, with others involved, it feels bigger.
It doesn't matter if your child is disobedient in public or at home. Don’t overreact in the moment, but take it to a quiet place later and teach them with love. Be a living example of gratitude, showing them that every moment is an opportunity to grow and learn together.
We all need to apologize to those closest to us—our spouse, our children—when we fail to show gratitude. Isn’t it confusing how we can demand something from those around us that we aren't demonstrating ourselves? Ouch, it stings, especially when our children are the ones calling us out on it. But you know what? That’s the moment we have to lean into humility. The best thing we can do is apologize, showing them that we, too, are growing and learning. When we model the courage to admit our mistakes and the grace to ask for forgiveness, we’re teaching them something much more powerful than any lesson about manners. We’re teaching them how to be genuinely humble and accountable in their own relationships. Apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an invitation for growth, connection, and healing.
This might feel completely foreign to you, especially if you’ve never seen your parents apologize for anything. Saying sorry yourself might even feel a bit strange.
Let this verse minister to your heart:
Proverbs 28:13
"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy."
The Bible often reminds us that forgiveness is not just encouraged—it’s a mandate. Because He has forgiven us, we must forgive others.
Let Him guide you in this process. Release any lies that have held you back from true forgiveness, and humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. Doing so brings healing—not only for you but for your entire family line.