Navigating the Parenting Jungle
In today's digital age of information overload, even parenting can feel overwhelmingly complex. In a recent conversation with a close friend, we explored the challenges of navigating the vast sea of parenting advice.
From YouTube shorts to Instagram stories, TikToks, books, podcasts, blogs (yes, even this one), and more, parents are bombarded with tips and trends. It's a landscape I can only imagine, not having raised children in such an environment.
The multitude of parenting styles - gentle, authoritative, authoritarian, attachment, helicopter, positive, permissive, slow, hands-off, conscious, concerted cultivation, free-range, natural, active, soft, and even elephant parenting - adds to the confusion. Are you overwhelmed yet?
When faced with parenting challenges with a newborn, toddler, preschooler, or teenager-parents often turn to Google, accompanied by their social media peers. But the abundance of information can be both a blessing and a curse.
A simple search yields a myriad of conflicting advice, leaving parents feeling adrift. They may try one approach, only to switch to another at the slightest sign of difficulty. It's a cycle that can leave you feeling tossed around in a sea of uncertainty and frustration.
How do we navigate this information jungle effectively? Let's explore a few key challenges:
There are no quick fixes
This is a big one, because today we think we can have everything when we want it. We're fed on instant gratification, and it's natural that when it comes to having children, this is our perspective on parenting. Challenge equals give me a quick fix. But please repeat after me, there are no quick solutions to parenting and that's okay.
The slower journey of teaching and building a foundation, connecting to their hearts is so much more rewarding than a Band-Aid. As you begin to let this truth sink in, let's move on to the next point.
Consistency is key
Following up on the above, anything you try, give it at least 7 days.
We teach our parents anything new that you implement, give it a week, keep a journal of how it went and look at it after those days, has anything improved, I'm talking improved and not dissolved, not everything will be fixed after 7 days, but you will either see a shift in a positive outcome or not, that should be your indicator that it's either good or not.
If you feel it is having a positive effect on your family, stay with it.
Refrain from trying to find a new way, hoping to get it done faster, and then drifting off to try something else for a day or so again.
Don't Let Fear Guide You
Too many parenting styles are based on fear. Fear is never a good advisor
It's written in Scripture that perfect love casts out fear. (1. John 4:18)
We're going to make mistakes in parenting, we all do, don't be afraid that you've ruined your children's lives. Tomorrow is a new day. “The steadfast love of the LORD endures forever; his mercies never fail; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
Fear usually paralyzes us, and I've heard parents say, "I'd rather do nothing because anything I might do might somehow mess up my child.
That is not the answer; you can courageously take one step at a time in faith.
Seek out real-life role models
Instead of endlessly scrolling through online tips and tricks, look for guidance from families you admire in real life. Look for couples with a strong connection and children who are trained up in the way they should go.
Having tangible role models is incredibly valuable. Our own experience with real-life mentors has been immensely helpful in navigating parenthood without constantly second-guessing ourselves.
If you don't have access to such role models, consider limiting your online exposure to a few select families. You don't have to follow every parenting influencer out there. It's perfectly fine to streamline your sources of inspiration and not worry about missing out on the rest.
Strengthening Our Intuition
In today's world, the abundance of information can sometimes cloud our instincts and shake our confidence as parents.
Overloading ourselves with tasks can overwhelm our intuition.
Pulling our minds in too many directions makes it difficult to hear our inner voice and see patterns in our experiences.
Fear can further dull our intuition, making it harder to trust our gut. But the good news is that intuition is a skill that can be refined and revitalized, providing us with a reliable compass in challenging situations.
For Christians, intuition can be profoundly strengthened by the Holy Spirit. As we open ourselves to God's guidance and wisdom through prayer, meditation, and the study of Scripture, it becomes a powerful tool to steer us away from pitfalls and keep us on the path of righteousness.
God as Our Ultimate Architect
Above all else, we must recognize God as our Creator, the divine architect of heaven and earth, and the perfect Father who always knows what's best for us and our children.
Read the Bible as a compass for parenting. You'll find many verses that don't start with " Thou shalt reared your child in this way," but instead speak to how we should live and in turn how to teach our children.
Understanding the depth of God's love for us and learning to extend that love to others lays a strong foundation for parenting. Teaching our children to love others as themselves addresses several behavioral challenges. While it may be discouraging when they do not reflect love, the acknowledgment of this reality allows us to work with what we have and guide them toward growth.
Love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13, embodies the most beautiful lesson we can impart to our children. Its attributes—patience, kindness, humility, selflessness, forgiveness, and perseverance—serve as a blueprint for nurturing compassionate, empathetic, and resilient individuals.
Overcoming the challenges of parenting means constantly relying on God's wisdom and love to guide our actions. You may be struggling with a problem with your child or children, but God has the answer, sit with Him and ask, He can't wait to share heavenly solutions with you!
Trusting in His guidance isn't just about finding a quick fix; it's about experiencing the divine intervention that will ultimately lead us to the best way forward. If we can have the perfect answer, how would we ever want to go back to scrolling?
While you can easily click to get answers from your favorite creators, sitting with God offers something much deeper.
It is not as immediate, but when you take that bold step, you'll not only receive what you and your family need but you'll also be infused with His supernatural power and overflowing love. Try it, you will not be disappointed!
I hope to encourage you to step out of the overwhelming information overload on parenting. You don't have to be a part of it. Make the decision today to step away. You'll not only gain the extra time you crave, but you'll also feel lighter and more at peace.