Starting Chores Early
My Apologies, I know I promised two weeks ago that I would continue the chores discussion, but then Mother's Day came around and I felt the need to write about us women, moms being gatekeepers. Please go back and read if you missed it.
Let's pick up the conversation now. After discussing the various benefits of chores in our last post, I hope you're on board with trying to incorporate them into your daily life. Now, I want to delve into the how.
If you missed our last post, please take a look at it below:
Kids as young as 3 can help with simple tasks. (Younger kids can assist too, but let's focus on 3-year-olds for simplicity's sake.) Remember what I mentioned in our last blog? Starting early is key. At this age, they're eager to help and love imitating mom and dad. At first, it takes more investment from us than support from them, and that's okay. Starting our children with chores lays the foundation for responsibility and independence further down the road. It’s the marathon not the spring thing again.
Expectations are crucial and can be a make-or-break issue. If you go into this too naively, thinking your three-year-old will flawlessly set the table from now on, you'll quickly be disappointed and, worse, might give up too soon. Be gracious with everyone in the process—it takes time.
I can almost hear your question: "But how do you go about it?"
Well, I'm a visual person. I find that making it graphic helps our kids, especially if they don't read yet. I always try to find the best way to make it both cute, colorful and easy to understand. One effective strategy is to create a chore chart. It's not only a beautiful way to illustrate your children's responsibilities, but it also helps instil a sense of ownership. Instead of constantly asking who's supposed to do what, you can simply point them to the chart.
Start by thinking about what chores are appropriate for their age. You want chores that are realistic and achievable, that challenge them without overwhelming. As a parent, you're the best judge of your child's abilities. You know what they're already capable of. We've put together a list of possible chores by age to get you started. Of course, you can add many more tasks based on your family's needs and your child's abilities. But here's a word of caution: look at the list through the lens of each child. Some may need another year before they're ready for certain tasks, while others may be able to handle them sooner. Tailor the chore list to your child and family dynamics.
I remember how challenging it was for me when I first started assigning chores to our three-year-old. I wondered, "What could he possibly do?" That's why we've created this resource-to give you a head start and encourage you along the way. Your kids are ready, and you can start now.
But let's take it one step at a time.
Look At the Chore List
Decide which chores you want to incorporate into your family routine. Remember, you don't have to do them all at once, especially for your three-year-old; you have many years to include them. Start with one chore at a time-there's no need to rush. This gradual approach allows children to adjust and learn without feeling overwhelmed.
Teach them
We don't simply assign chores and expect our child to do them without any guidance.
I know it might sound amusing, but often, that's precisely what happens, doesn't it? Allow plenty of time to teach your children the chores one at a time. For example, if you're starting with sorting clothes by color-a practical task that doubles as a color learning opportunity-it's important to make the chore interactive and fun to keep them engaged and eager to participate. Here's a fun approach you can try: Set the stage: Tell your child that you're going to teach him or her something exciting tomorrow. This builds anticipation and curiosity and sets the tone for an engaging learning experience.
Walk your child through the task: Sit together and demonstrate how to sort clothes by color. Engage them by discussing different colors and the importance of keeping them separate. Consider introducing a fun experiment, such as showing what happens when white and red clothes are mixed. Use props or visuals to make the activity more interactive and engaging.
Reinforce the learning: After completing the activity, emphasize the importance of sorting clothes by color and the importance of keeping them separate. You can review the lesson or explore additional examples to reinforce their understanding.
It's important to make chores a regular part of your child's routine, not a one-time event. After you've demonstrated the task, give your child a chance to try it on his or her own the following week. Encourage, empower, and praise them as they complete each step. When you feel they've grasped the task and are ready to do it independently, add it to their chore chart.
As soon as you feel ready to add another task, start the process all over again by teaching them first. I can't stress this enough - no matter how old they get, always start with teaching. As they grow, build on their skills with each new task and provide age-appropriate explanations.
Chore Chart
Now for the creative part: making your chore chart. You can get really creative with this or simply print one out—there are plenty of printable charts available online. Whatever you choose, make it colorful and fun!
Decide how often each chore should be done, and be sure to write or draw it on the chart. Then, with excitement, show your child the new chart. Place it somewhere at their eye level so they can easily refer to it when needed. This will help them feel more involved and responsible for their chores.
To pay or not to pay
This is a key decision that should be made early on: will you or will you not compensate for the work done?
In our home, we have chosen not to. We believe that everyone in the family should contribute to the household and support each other. Paying for chores can sometimes take away the joy of helping and can create a mindset where children only do chores for money. For example, if you ask them to help with something extra, they may start asking, "How much will I get?"
So we didn't start paying for chores. Instead, we give them an allowance for extra chores beyond their regular responsibilities.
Be mindful: Nowadays, there's a tendency to overly compensate children for minor tasks. Instead, instill the value of money through labor and effort, ensuring that the compensation aligns appropriately with the task at hand.
Contributing to the Family Well-Being
Incorporating a sense of collective responsibility within the family dynamic is essential for nurturing empathy and building a strong sense of community. Encourage your children to not only set and clear their own place at the table but to take ownership of the entire table setting process for everyone. By emphasizing that chores are for the benefit of the entire family, children learn the value of collaboration and mutual support. This approach instills in them the understanding that their actions directly contribute to the well-being of everyone in the household, reinforcing the importance of teamwork and solidarity.
I hope this discussion has provided you with guidance and encouragement. Chores teach our children important life skills, and although it may seem challenging, the impact becomes evident as they mature. With two teenagers and a young adult in our household, I've seen firsthand the significant contributions they make to our family. It's more than just practical support; it's a joy to see them confidently being able to manage their own households one day. Remember, in the midst of the difficulties of the present, imagine the fruitful harvest that awaits in the future.
